On the Darkest Days

Some days it gets really hard to be alive. You may think, well, this is it. I can't do it any longer, I'm just going to kill myself.  But those feelings come from the depression, not from you.  It is cliche, but important to remember.  There are a million things to do when the suicidal thoughts strike, but some of my favorites involve distraction or empowerment.
A good way to avoid any suicidal action is to have a plan of attack: a list of things you can do or people you can talk to when you feel oh-so-down.  Walk the dog, go outside, buy a book, etc.  But a lot of times the depression also demands you stay inside, alone, and not reach out to anyone. In these most extreme cases, I suggest internet things that inspire to keep going.
I have a friend who uses a poem, an inspiring quote, a picture of her best friend, and a sweet song to keep her sane; all of these things make for good life rafts on your worst days. I'd say have at least four things on that list.

Here are my four things:

1.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ooCeoh6608
One of my youtube heroes, John Green, discusses his experience with depression.  Above all, I think it just made me realize that everyone is suffering and I am not alone.  And also that this great person that I look up to in some ways has struggled with and overcome the same things I have.  It is like seeing the other side of depression; the success story.

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtZp7MQE2ZM
I am a big fan of spoken word poetry, so here is one of two videos.  This one kind of speaks for itself as Andrea Gibson shares her story.

3.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjjaIwVxfTw
The second poem.  This one is a lot more subtle.  It doesn't evoke the mountains of emotion that "The Madness Vase" does, but to me, it doesn't really need to.  I think this communicates well what it feels like to have gone through and be healing from depression.

4.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_xvWdY6Gr4
This is probably my most powerful weapon when I need it most.  I'm not sure exactly what it is about OneRepublic's "Something I Need" that I crave so much, but I can't help feel like I can make it a little bit longer whenever I hear it.  It makes me want to get up, move, and live.

Some of these videos may have seemed neat or dumb or preachy, but they aren't necessarily your life rafts. They are mine.
So what can you find to pull you back up on the darkest days?

What is depression?

Or Am I depressed? may be questions you have thought before.  Let's answer them.

"Everyone feels sad sometimes."

I've heard that sentence so many times that it starts to lose its meaning.  I get why they say it, I do.  It can be comforting to know that you are not alone in suffering.  But sometimes I fear people use this phrase as a way to dismiss symptoms that could be a sign of a more serious disorder.  But how can you tell the difference between regular old down-in-the-dumps and real live mental illness?  

I like to turn to the good, old DSM-IV.  (Though, in order to get a diagnosis or serious treatment options for any condition, visit to a psychiatrist or psychologist) 

WHAT IS DEPRESSION?
Well, that isn't as simple of a question as it might seem. 

There are lots of different kinds of depression, you see, and they all have different causes, which means different treatments.  Let's focus on the biggy, Major Depressive Disorder.  (For further information of other types of depression, visit the link below).  In simple speech, it's a mental illness that is characterized by lows. Low mood, low self-esteem, low interest.  The experience is different for everyone, but for me, it is kind of like having your favorite band break up, and your favorite TV show canceled, and stubbing your toe REALLY hard all in the same day, except to the power of 100.  And that is what everyday feels like.  Needless to say, it is kind of a rough condition. So how do we tell if we've got it?

AM I DEPRESSED?Major Depressive Disorder requires two or more major depressive episodes.
Diagnostic criteria:
Depressed mood and/or loss of interest or pleasure in life activities for at least 2 weeks and at least five of the following symptoms that cause clinically signification impairment in social, work, or other important areas of functioning almost every day
1.  Depressed mood most of the day.
2.  Diminished interest or pleasure in all or most activities.
3.  Significant unintentional weight loss or gain.
4.  Insomnia or sleeping too much.
5.  Agitation or psychomotor retardation noticed by others.
6.  Fatigue or loss of energy.
7.  Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt.
8.  Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.
9.  Recurring thoughts of death.

Easy enough, right?

So if it looks like you may have the beast, call a doc.  Depression doesn't feel too nice to have, but luckily, it is one of the most treatable conditions.

For more information on other types of depression and for source information visit: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64063/

Hope this helps us all see tomorrow. 

A Short Word About a Long Process

Just a quick explanation:
I have had depression for a long long time and I have been fighting it a little bit harder for the past few months.  This blog will be a conglomerate of personal experiences and psychological theories.
I'm no professional, but I am studying to be.
I hope that if you have stumbled upon this, it helps you in some way.

I hope my other posts are more interesting than this one.